Intensely jealous

I am intensely jealous. For all of the times I've been with him, he did not once talk about my blog yet now he has averii's featured on his. This jealousy is horrible, even I am afraid of it.

I am jealous, jealous, jealous. She's talented indeed, I must admit. Talented enough to capture his heart? Or am I thinking too much, too far? I didn't know that jealousy could feel like this, or the hurt that comes with the thought of looming possibility between him and someone else.

And do you know that with every word I type here, the pain eases in me? It is as if through the keyboard, this energy is drained from me and flows into this virtual space.

I haven't heard a peep from him, not a SMS, not a word, not an email... Nothing. Not even seeing him online. I'm starting to wonder if he has forgotten me, completely. I wonder if he still pops into rwrite or if my URL is forgotten. I really wonder.

For all the non-pain that I am feeling, I feel really bounded and scarred. To him, I might be a past, a history, non-existing, not important anymore. How can I live with that thought, when he is still as important to me? I am unable to erase all contact with him. I simply can't.