1st letter

If you'll read the post before this on that special person of mine, you should understand the context of this entry. Last night I suddenly thought that perhaps this person exist, just that I haven't met him. It is as if I know he exists, as if I can feel his presence. I thought then that perhaps I could write to him. Letters, notes, memos, whichever, to be kept somewhere until the day I finally meet him and let him read. Something like writing to him, to that person inside my heart. The thought of being able to talk to him sounded really good. So today on the bus I wrote my first short note, then after thinking it through, I started to worry for a bit. Here's the whole thing with all its grammar, phrasing and whatever-not errors.

Hi sweetie,

I just finished NUSSO rehersal @ 9.30pm. It's 10.30pm and I just got on the bus not too long ago. I looked up at the sky from the bus stop I was at and it was a lovely night. Sky was very clear. The moon is very bright and round - lovely. There are scattered stars, some faint, some bright. And as I sat there alone waiting for the bus, I can't help wishing you were here with me.
I once sat at that stop with SH, a boy I really liked and I had my head on his shoulder. I miss those times a little.
Sweetie, who are you? Where are you now? I wish you'd appear already. If you're already here, then which is you? I wish we'd find and acknowledge each other sooner. I'm lonely and I miss you. I wonder what you are doing now, if you are happy, if you'll be happy with me. I hope you're happy now. I hope you exist for me. Hope to see you soon.

Ok, I kinda shuddered re-typing it. It's a little... over-the-top and mushy, if I might say.
After a while, I wrote another short section beneath it:

Sweetie, suddenly I don't want to meet CJ anymore. I only want you. But what if he is you?
What if I think and create a "you" and then I miss out on the person for me in real life? Which is real? Are you real? Do you exist?