If it is because of me...

If it is because of me he's having counselling...

I don't know what to do.

My heart breaks when he's helpless. The worst thing is I don't know what to do or what not to do. If it is because of me he is having counselling... I've done almost all I should have done. Why is it so difficult to love somebody? Why can't I just love him without him feeling pressurised? Am I not treating him as a friend should? Why can't I be let to heal my own way? If it is because of me he is having counselling... I want to just disappear from this world and in the process not let him know, not let him feel any more pain or guilt.

Suppression is like a tiny box. Everything squeezed into it by force, packed in with a density so high that one day it will collapse into itself and become a blackhole, suck everything in, destroy the person. I don't want him to suppress it all in.

Will somebody, anybody just take me far far away? Make me fall in love, take my heart away. I don't care if it gets broken later on, I only want it now. Take me away please. Just take me away from him. Make me stop feeling for him.