there is nothing there

Sometimes it isn't about him not physically being here.

It's when I talk to him, reach out and realize that there is nothing between the two of us. It is like we are on different frequencies, in two different but parallel worlds. There is nothing to be built, nothing that can be built.

When it is only a case of not by my side, there is the possibility of getting back together. But when there is nothing in common with that person, nothing between the two of us, then there is nothing at all. No possibilities.

It is like having schizophrenia. The people most important to you and the things you thought you had, they don't exist. Everything is in your mind.

Do you see why I cry? Sometimes it isn't because he isn't physically there, but because it was never there and it will never be. I fell for him but he wasn't there - I fell for nothing.

It's empty. I'm grasping at nothing.

Both ways it hurts.